So there have been many disconcerting reports floating around about the new Spiderman movie and it looks like at least some of it has become true. For starters, Sam Raimi, who had originally expressed interest in the film, is now out as director. On top of that, Toby Maguire is out as well and Sony is basically calling this a reboot.
Instead Marc Webb will be directing. Who? Yeah, Marc Webb, who has one film under belt, “500 Days of Summer,” is going to be in charge. On top of that Sony is pressing for a quick release date and has given it a 80 million dollar budget. Worst of all, they have rotated through 4 different writers so far, no wonder Raimi wanted out. New director, 4 writers, new cast and an impatient movie studio have my spider sense that this could spell disaster and what could have been a pretty good series (the first two were great) could easily become a joke. Just look at the Batman movies from the early 90’s.
Could it get worse? Yep. Raimi’s Spiderman was based off the classic comic book we grew up with in the 80’s and early 90’s. This new film is most likely to focus more on the Ultimate Spider Man and the angst ridden youth of Peter Parker. Yes, I said angst which is what I am experiencing at this moment. It is thought that angst will appeal to the, gulp, Twilight market. Shake your head, take a deep breath, you heard it correctly. That is where the rumors of Robert Pattinson as Parker come in. While this is still a rumor, the thought is the new parker will fit more into this mold.
If Pattinson is in then I am totally out. Will Kristen Stewart play MJ? Maybe Taylor Lautner could even play Team Venom, except he would have to keep his shirt on.
Spiderman is not a girls movie, it is a guys comic book hero, to even think of changing it is sacrilegious. If our favorite wall crawling, web slinger sparkles then I am going to turn in my nerd card. I choose Team Toby.
In honor of this I wrote this song. Sung to the tune of “Spiderman” from the cartoon series.
“Emo man, Emo man. Doin’ the things, emo can.
Slashing wrist, he hates his life.
Uses angst, to win his fights.
Oh ohhh, here comes the emo man.”