The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

Underworld + Romeo & Juliet x Dawson's Creek = Eclipse

I survived another episode of the “Twilight Days of Our Lives” with Eclipse, the next installment in the ridiculously popular teen angsty, vampire love story. If you don’t know what ‘Twi-Fever’ is all about then you probably are in jail, or dead, or even worst, a male over the age of 30 (which is ancient in Twi-years).  The Twilight Saga has been exactly that, a saga. It’s one of the few phenomenon’s that has been able to frenzy its fans to a Star Wars level of fanaticism. I had a pretty bad experience with the first movie Twilight. The awful dialogue and wooden acting was about the worst I have seen in years. The second part, Twilight: New Moon, was an overall improvement under new direction and with more experienced actors. Would Eclipse ‘imprint’ on me or would it be the kiss of death?   

Eclipse continues the story with Edward trying to convince Bella that it is time to make their relationship official by marrying. From the last movie, in order to avoid getting in trouble by the vampire police, the Voltaire (whose superpower is walking in slow motion), they promise to marry after she graduates high school. The love triangle that also started in the last movie with shirtless Jacob continues to thicken as Bella’s ‘love’ for both of them increases. Meantime, their vampire nemesis Victoria, who is Hell bent on revenge, is hatching a scheme to destroy Bella and the Cullen family by creating and manipulating an army (more like gang) of vampire newbies. Forced to work together, the cold-hearted Cullens and the hot-blooded wolf pack join forces to defend against the incoming adolescent threat.   

Bella: "Enough about what I think about me, let's hear about what you think about me?..."

Overall, this isn’t a bad movie although I think I enjoyed the last one a little more. With each installment, you can see a honing of the genre and a more economical use of storytelling. Each actor portrays their character with a stronger awareness and confidence than before. The drawn out, sappy scenes are kept to a minimum and there are a few genuinely funny moments which helps not to take itself too seriously. In particular, there is a scene where Edward is forced to allow the ‘overly hot’ Jacob to help keep Bella warm in a snow storm. He turns to Edward and says, “I am hotter than you”, which gets a good lauch. He should have winked and smiled at the camera while he was at it. The CGI (computer generated imagery) continues to improve and blends more realistically into the environment. There is also a pretty strong abstinence message which is refreshing and is unique in this modern age of teen movies. This third chapter, seemed to be pace better and builds to a natural climax.   

With all that being said, I still don’t enjoy these movies very much. With even less action than the last, Eclipse dragged a bit for me. But my disdain for the Twilight Saga has less to do with movie making and more about believability of this absurd scenario. Like my review of New Moon, this emo goth, teen soap opera really pushes the boundaries of what real (and immortal) people would do for love. These two warring families, who HATE each other (for generations mind you), set aside their differences just because of one teenage girl. These two families risk everything they have been built up without hesitancy or dispute because of teen romance?!?! That’s just not what sane adults, supernatural or not do. It’s not like the Matrix Oracle said Bella was the ONE or Yoda foresaw her bringing balance to the Force or Frodo bestowed the one ring to rule them all. Bella  just happens to be dating boys from both sides- and everyone is okay with that!!! I dunno, I think someone with centuries of wisdom would have suggested kicking her to the curb. a couple of movies ago.  

Get your 'Eclipse Performance Denims' at Old Navy for $19.99!

I see the horrific brilliance in this tale. It creates a fantasy of a lonely, awkward girl to be the object of affection between two supernatural dreamy guys. Both boys are honorable, with honorable families and their devotion for Bella is never-ending. Their love stirs up conflict that has never been equalled throughout time and could have cataclysmic results. Nothing of substance is every really discussed but rather just how much each boy loves this one girl. It’s every girls dream (and every boys nightmare). If I ever met Stephanie Meyer, I would probably judo chop her on the nose with one hand while shaking her hand in congratulations with the other. With cunning skill, she has catered to a very specific audience and continually delivers a perfect ‘made to order’ product that will never be out of demand. I don’t HATE Twilight since it spawned a generation of new readers but I do loath it for what it is teaching those same readers. Being a previous teen boy, I know it’s hard enough as it is to have a semi-healthy relationship in high school without all the unrealistic expectations that Twilight injects.     

Eclipse is much of the same as New Moon. If you liked or hated it, you will probably have the same opinion of this one. For me, while gritting my teeth in agony, I also found myself applauding it’s shrewdness in successfully connecting with its target fan base (which was clearly not me by a couple of decades). I will more than likely see the next one and my review will probably be similar to this. My only hope is that this Twi-coaster will all be over soon and we can get back to normal, healthy fanaticism over things like Star Wars and Star Trek. 🙂   

I give this a 2.5 Babbles out of 5.

Check out my review of New Moon and all of the lively discussion that spawned from it.



Filed under Reviews

7 responses to “The Twilight Saga: Eclipse

  1. Cat

    I still stand by the original statement I made two movies and four books ago… “BELLA IS ANNOYING.”

    You’re right; any normal human (or nonhuman, even) would have kicked her to the curb long ago. In reading the books, one can literally “hear” her whine. Ugh!

    Twilight stoked my imagination and made me feel like a lovesick teenager all over again. Then the next three books came out and… It was simply overkill. Yes, that’s the perfect word. OVERKILL. With each new sequel, Edward becomes more saccharine, Jacob becomes sappier, and most importantly, Bella becomes WAY more self-absorbed.

    I agree with you. I pity all teenaged boys.

    Then again, I still loved Twilight, and enjoyed the sequels… IN PRINT.

    At any rate, I can’t believe you shelled out money to pay to watch this movie.

    By the way, why was your FB message directed to GIRLS?! Just FYI, I know for a fact that MANY pubescent boys are VERY excited to see Breaking Dawn come out in theaters. Can you imagine why? @.@;;

    • Tony

      Cathy, as painful as it is, it’s my moral obligation as a Babbler to check out all kinds of movies. But even as a sucker for romance movies, this one is still tough to see past the logic in this one. Thanks for taking the time to comment, your opinion is always appreciated!

  2. Tony, Tone, Toni…I don’t know where to start. While it’s clear that you will never “get it”, I also do NOT get the whole Star Wars/Trek thing- which you are right, is SO MUCH MORE BELIEVABLE than all of this whole love story crap.

    I just think in general you are way too hard on the movies. The books are so much better…and I think that allows me a little more grace not to karate chop Stephanie Meyer in the face.

    I agree that Bella is annoying, but you should definitely hang on to see the “unique gifting” that does set her apart from other annoying teenage girls. (And I found Elijah Wood annoying, too by the way.)

    I also think that you are way underestimating the power of the abstinence message and way OVERestimating how this makes girls expectations too high. I would argue that MOST teenage girls have standards that are WAY TOO LOW – so raising the bar sounds like a good thing to me. Have you read “A Return to Modesty”? Excellent book – but one of her arguments is that men will only rise to the expectations that women have of them. If you’re giving out the milk, they aren’t gonna buy the cow.

    So all in all, I again disagree with you. And you gotta love the panoramic shots of the Cullens ready to fight in the woods. TIGHT.

    • Tony

      I know, I know- we will never see eye to eye on this one. Perhaps you are becoming my Twilight nemesis? Should I call you my Victoria?!?! Actually, I do see your points and agree that their are some redeemable qualities. My main problem is with the character of Bella and her sense of entitlement. There is WAY TOO MUCH enablement going on with all the characters around her and it just ruins it for me. The message you mentioned are all great and dandy but I think as a protagonist, Bella is an all time low. I’ll watch the next to see where it goes but I doubt my opinion of Bella will change much. So I guess we will meet up again a year from now on my next blog post!

      PS. Star Trek is real, you just don’t know it yet.

  3. So just for the record, you are giving it the same ratings that you gave the A-Team? I don’t know that being able to connect with your target fan base is really that big of an accomplishment. But I could be wrong…

    • Tony

      I honestly think objectively they were about the same. Twilight evoked more of an emotional response from me. I forgot everything about the A-Team 5 minutes after walking out. So I stand by my rating.

  4. So, half way through you used the words abstinence and climax like 2 lines apart. I was in tears laughing too hard to read the rest. I assume it was stellar as all the babble on 5 reviews are though…

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