Fellow Babblers, last week I posted a review about Let the Right One In, however, what I did not tell you is that I actually watched another movie right after that one. (Yeah, it was a slow night.) I watched the aptly named Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus.
Okay, I got to be honest here folks; I have no clue how to rate this one. This movie is supposed to be bad with an absurd plot and cheesy graphics. (Think Snakes on a Plane.) So the question is, how do you rate a movie that is more or less supposed to be bad? If I say it was bad then did it accomplish its mission? I guess you have to rate it with the question of did it do it’s job in a good way?
So here is the scoop. This movie pretty much lives up to its name. An enormous prehistoric shark and octopus are frozen in them midst of an epic battle inside a glacier. Due global warming or because the plot required it, the ice melts and they escape. Of course, this doesn’t go unnoticed. Oceanographer Emma, no last name given, played by the 80’s pop star Debbie Gibson is researching whales in the area when all of the sudden, Out of the Blue (get it?) her submarine is nearly destroyed by the two beasts but not until she can get a quick picture of them.
The shark and octopus take a break from their fighting to go their separate ways on order to terrorize different coasts. The octopus heads to Japan, and in a scene that would make BP shiver, destroys an off shore oil platform. The shark goes to the American west coast and begins destroying ships and low flying 747s. (Yes a 747, in what is probably the funniest scene in the movie.)
Not surprisingly, the American government, represented only by a dude with pony tale, to devise a way to stop the shark and octopus, later contacts Emma. She goes to her mentor an old Irish oceanographer named Lamar, to help her. They also enlist the help of a, overly philosophical Japanese scientist named of Shieji Shimada. After realizing their mutual attraction to their own pheromones (if you know what I mean…) they device a plan to lure the shark and octopus into a fight to the death with each other using their pheromones to attract each other.
The special effects are pretty horrible; you could probably do just as much at home on your own computer and Adobe After Effects. The sets are used multiple times, with the inside of a United States destroyer looking exactly like that of a Japanese submarine. Of course the acting is bad and the dialogue doesn’t help it either.
So here is the deal. If you like really cheesy movies, like the old Godzilla movies, you might get a kick out of this or if you like absurd plots and over bad acting, you might enjoy it too. Maybe you just like to get a good laugh at a crappy movie, this is for you.
Whatever you do, for heavens sake, don’t spend money on this movie, it is streaming on Netflix for a good reason.
To really, truly enjoy this movie, I would advise you and a couple friends gather together one evening, raid the liquor cabinet, pour yourself something stiff to drink and sit back and have fun. It’s pretty much what we did.
As a “movie” I give this one Babble, but despite that I still had fun with it.